Banana phone: 000

the murder advice hotline-!]

HERE'S A PREVIEW~!!

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"Hello, 000 banana line. My name is Hana and I will be your operator for the day. How may I help you?"

"Yes, hello. I was thinking of killing someone today. I have an idea that has to do with a public dinner and smothering, but the rest is a bit unclear. Any suggestions?"

The operator giggled and twirled the banana phone's curly yellow wire between a few of her fingers, crossing her legs.

"Excellent idea so far. Public events are quite fun. I suggest you include many distractions up until the main event. You know, lights go out, things vanishing? And smothering, hm? Wear disinfectant gloves. Take the person to the oven and roast them alive at 600 degrees. Preheat the oven at 400 degrees before then. Carry the remains back to the table, and put the lights back on so that everyone can see. This takes time and precision, so make sure to practice on a life size doll of some sort."

The caller chuckled with joy, nodding to himself of the operator's idea. He wrote every detail down on paper.

"Yes, yes! Thankyou very much Hana!"

"Mhm, mhm.. It is my job..now... your fee for this call comes out to exactly.. $ 2000.00."

The operator spoke cheerfully and surpressed her giggle at the caller's gasp.

"2000?!!?! A friend of mine told me he was charged $500!!!"

"WELL HE SOUNDED HOTTER, NOW GIVE ME YOU CREDIT CARD NUMBER BEFORE I CALL THE POLICE."